Saturday, November 13, 2010

Shedding the Timeline

I don't expect you to believe any of this.  I didn't.  I once could hear only the sound of the words.  They were empty and paradoxical.  But, after years and years of disciplined searching with a unique guide -- a man who was both a Buddhist and a therapist -- a lightness and warmth came over me.  I found a sense of joy and contentment as I had never known.  My heart had been opened, and so, too, had my eyes and ears and fingertips.  Measured by the way I used to live my life, and the values of Western society, I'd both lost my mind and found it.  I discovered renewed joy -- and the resulting success it brought -- in my vocation and my avocations.  My encounters with friends and strangers alike grew more communicative and deeply satisfying.  My ideas and expectations about relationships changed for the better.

Both a returning and a beginning, happiness, when found, sits comfortably with you.  It warms your heart and your head.  Everything, from joyful to tragic, feels lighter.  Like illusions whose strength depends on how strongly we believe in them, matters on which our most pressing concerns once rested, and the concerns themselves, dim to the point of a sympathetic smile, and, where once was anxiety, sadness, or loneliness, lies our embracing of a child and its misadventures.  Us.

Pursue pain, grief, anguish, insecurity, fear, and hatred as your dragons.  Each blow you deliver to one weakens all of them.  And one day, the biggest dragon of all, you, will learn to love himself and his children, for they are one in the same.

That is what this blog is about.

3 comments:

  1. Diogenist, Dear, you are lucky to have had years and years and an expert guide. Most of us just learn by hard knocks and dumb luck. Though I must admit that I've found meditation through the aforementioned dumb luck, and a mere 8 minutes per day helps me.

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  2. I can't know whether some other path might have led me to where I am right now. What I do know is that hard knocks simply knocked me down further. I was in what amounted to a death spiral when I attended my first therapy session about seven years ago. At that point, I had no idea what therapy entailed, and I ended up going simply to have a third-party confirm whether I was sane or insane. I was deep in the throes of a very dysfunctional marriage and therapy was a life preserver in a very real sense. I believe that the key is where you arrive, not how you arrive there. There are plenty of people, poor and rich, who can't find their way through, and luck is only as good as having the strength to confront your deepest pains, anxieties and insecurities. I'm sure that there are some exceptional individuals who do not need the help of an therapist, and others for which unaided mental discipline can help them on the path. For them, it's truly a blessing to be so self-sufficient in the path to contentment. I hope you continue to visit my blog, and I will certainly look closely at yours. Be well.

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